Can a man overcome grief and fear to once again find love?
As I stand here inspecting myself in the mirror, I suppose it’s inevitable that today of all days, my personal history book would crack itself open to the darkest chapter in my life. Suddenly, I’m taken back to another day in another bathroom—a day of violence and horror.
As soon as I open the door and walk into our condo, I get an uneasy feeling that something’s wrong.
“Scott? You home?”
There’s no reply from my fiancé. Walking into our bedroom, I get a whiff of something that smells like a burning match.
When I open the door to our…
Finding friendship and love in the most unlikely of places
“Code Blue, RRU! Code Blue, RRU!”
When I hear the page, fear shoots through my body and leaves an ache in my gut. “Please don’t let it be Bill.”
I race back to RRU and as soon as I’m through the door, I see my worst fear has come true. The code team — headed by Dr. Pagani — is working on Bill. I hang back near the doorway so I’m not in the way.
I ask Martha, the charge nurse, what happened. “His O² sat collapsed — 62 on room air. 8 liters of O² brought it up, but his breathing is labored and he’s…
He came to win a trophy but won another man’s heart
As I travel south on a sunny Friday afternoon, my radar detector protecting me against speed limit nazis, I’m trying to contain my excitement about the weekend ahead. A business associate has invited me to watch a GT3 Cup Challenge race from his company’s luxury suite at Laguna Seca Raceway near Monterey. It’ll be the first time in two decades that I’ve seen a motorsport race in person.
When I arrive in Monterey, I take the exit for Cannery Row. After checking-in at my hotel and unpacking, I go downstairs and enjoy a Maker’s Mark Whiskey Sour beside the fire…
Memories of the center of my gay universe
Grama has a few things left to say — Chapter 8
“Mr. Baxter — sorry, Bill, you mentioned that she left a letter for me. When will I be able to see it?”
“Yes, I’m wondering about the two letters to me you mentioned.”
“I have them right here. I’ll give them to you when you leave…”
Todd
Later that evening after dinner, Will and I sit down on the sofa and do what we’ve been putting off doing all afternoon: reading Grama’s letters.
I look at Will. “You as nervous as I am?”
“Yeah, but I don’t know why.”
“Well, there’s only one way to know what’s in these letters.”
With that, we both open our personal letters and read them.
Grama’s letter to Todd
Dear Todd,
You reading this means Will only has you now.
Do you remember the promise…
Grief overwhelms Will a second time in life — Chapter 7
“As I was saying, Mr. Spencer, how would you like to live at 1380 Saint James Drive?”
“What? Seriously?”
“Yeah, I have to admit, it’s been a fantasy of mine since we got together. As Grama pointed out, you’re here all the time anyway, why not make it official? I think the three of us make a great little family. Think about it — no pressure. Do whatever is best for you, babe.”
Will
Todd does move in. It’s a wonderful time for all three of us.
We have many long conversations over dinners and many nights of amazing sex and intimacy. …
Will has a belated talk with Grama — Chapter 6
She looks me straight in the eyes. “Todd…I know that you and Will are special friends too.”
The stone in my stomach instantly grows to the size of a boulder. My eyes dart around the room, looking everywhere except at Grama. I don’t say anything — I can’t say anything.
She puts her hand on my arm to reassure me.“It’s okay, don’t be upset or afraid. I think it’s wonderful you two boys found each other…”
Will
“Well, that took a while.”
“Grama and I just had a little talk. She knows everything.”
Panic grips me. “Everything? What do you mean?”
“I mean everything about us…
Grama’s intuition hits too close to home — Chapter 5
…Todd takes my head in his hands and kisses me deeply. Then he says, “I love you too, more than I can ever say or show, and more than you’ll ever know.”
All I can do is hold him as silent tears trickle down my cheeks. Sleep comes quickly, the sleep of those who know they’re loved.
Will
After that night, Todd and I become inseparable.
To say we’re boyfriends is inaccurate, what we have together is much more than that. We’re partners in every sense except living together.
There’s gossip at the store, of course, but not the mean kind. After I filed that complaint with HR, the…
Birds do it, bees do it, and finally, so do Will and Todd — Chapter 4
He takes my chin in his hand, turns my head towards his, and kisses my lips softly.
As he pulls away, I say, “I think we better…”
“Yeah….”
I take Todd’s hand and lead him into my bedroom.
Will
Once we walk into my room and close the door, Todd pulls me toward him and kisses me.
When he’s done, he puts his hand between my legs and asks, “Is this for me?”
“Absolutely… just for you.”
He looks deep into my eyes. “I’ve been dreaming about this since I first saw you at the store. I want you so bad.”
As we kiss, I can feel Todd’s hands exploring me. …
Todd meets Grama — Chapter 3
…“You know, Grama’s really anxious to meet you, and I know she’ll love you when she does. I’d really like you to.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to say that. I can’t wait to finally meet her. I bet the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.”
I laugh. “You can decide that for yourself. Want to come over for dinner Saturday night?
“Awesome, I can’t wait.”
Will
Saturday morning arrives, which I spend on grocery shopping and the usual weekend errands.
When I get home, I run the vacuum and dust, then get started on dinner. I like to have as much of the prep done ahead of time as I can.
